The single best way to get referrals is to give them first. That’s it. It’s a straightforward, no-frills strategy, but it’s also deeply effective. If you want to build a business where people actively and enthusiastically send opportunities your way, you’ve got to become an expert at giving referrals.
Let’s break down how to become an expert referral giver.
Why Giving Referrals Works
When you give someone a referral, you’re doing more than just connecting them with a resource or opportunity. You’re saying, “I see what you do, and I believe in it enough to recommend you to someone else.” That’s powerful. It’s an act of service and generosity that sets the tone for the relationship.
And here’s the thing: there’s a universal law of reciprocity at play when you give referrals. People naturally want to return the favor when someone has helped them. Now let’s be clear—I’m not talking about manipulation or “giving with strings attached.” I’m talking about genuinely wanting to help, without expectation of return.
When you provide value to someone, you’re building trust, credibility, and goodwill. These are the very things that make people want to return the favor by referring business, connections, or opportunities back to you.
How to Overcome the Fear of Asking for Referrals
For many people, the hesitation to ask for referrals comes from a deeper insecurity. You might feel salesy, pushy, or even guilty about asking. But that hesitation often stems from wondering if you’ve earned the right to ask in the first place.
When you lead with value—when you’ve already given first—this hesitation starts to fade. Giving referrals first gives you confidence because you know you’ve already invested in the relationship. You’ve earned the right to ask for help because you’ve been the one to offer it freely and generously.
How to Give Referrals That Actually Make an Impact
Giving referrals isn’t just about throwing names around. It’s about being thoughtful, intentional, and specific. To become an expert referral giver, you need to:
- Listen Actively
Pay attention to what people are asking for. What do they need? What challenges are they facing? Be present in the conversations so you can fully understand their needs and intentions.
- Make It Personal
Not every referral has to be a professional connection. Sometimes it’s as simple as recommending a great book, podcast, or even a babysitter. If it solves a problem for someone, it’s valuable.
- Be Intentional
Think through your network. Who would genuinely be a good fit for this person? Make sure the connection is meaningful, not generic.
- Follow Through
Don’t just promise to send a connection—actually do it. If you say, “I’ll send you that link,” or “I’ll introduce you to my CPA,” make sure you follow through promptly.
Clarity Is Key: Know What You’re Asking For
While giving referrals is the foundation, you also need to be prepared when the time comes for others to return the favor. This requires clarity.
Who do you want to be referred to? What kind of client, vendor, or opportunity are you looking for? The more specific you are, the easier it is for someone to say, “Oh, I know exactly who to connect you with!”
For example, if you say, “I’m looking for anyone who hires speakers,” that’s too vague. But if you say, “I’d love an introduction to event planners at mid-sized tech companies who manage budgets of $20,000 or more,” now you’ve painted a clear picture of what you need.
Referrals Are a Long Game
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking of referrals as a one-time event. They ask once, cross their fingers, and hope for the best. But referrals aren’t a single transaction. They’re part of an ongoing process.
Building a network that generates referrals consistently requires consistent effort on your part. You have to stay connected to your network, keep providing value, and maintain those relationships over time.
In a way, a referral strategy is sort of like a life strategy. You should aim to make relationship-building a non-negotiable part of your routine. Whether it’s through social media, phone calls, networking events, or even casual coffee chats, make time to nurture your connections.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
Stop thinking of referrals as “big asks” and start thinking of them as natural extensions of relationships. A referral isn’t some monumental favor. At its core, it’s just an introduction, a connection. It could be to a book, a podcast, a vendor, or even a potential client. But when you consistently give these small gifts of value, they add up. Over time, they create a ripple effect of goodwill that benefits everyone involved (including you).
The Best Way to Get Referrals
In the end, it’s simple: the best way to get referrals is to give them first. And not just once, but over and over, with genuine generosity.
Give so well and so freely that people can’t help but think of ways to return the favor. And when they do, be ready. Know who you’re looking to connect with, be specific in your ask, and keep building those relationships over time.
Ready to Build a Referral-Driven Business?
If you’re looking to make referrals a part of your business growth strategy, it’s time to get intentional. Brand Builders Group can help you craft a plan that’s rooted in generosity and authentic relationships. Schedule a free Brand Strategy Call today to start building a thriving, referral-driven business.
