When’s the last time you wrote down your definition of success? Probably never, if you’re like most people. The reason I bring this up is because I was recently chatting with Ryan Blair, a serial entrepreneur who’s built billion-dollar businesses, on the Influential Personal Brand Podcast. We talked about redefining success.
Our conversation was so incredibly eye-opening that I need to share my takeaways with you. Because if you don’t define success for yourself, someone else will — and that leads to an unfulfilled life. I hope you find these seven insights helpful.
Put On Your Metaphorical Blinders to Define Success
It’s way too easy to look around and think that success is tied to external markers—whether it’s a big house, a bigger bank account, or your Instagram follower count. I’ve been guilty of this too. But over the years I’ve realized something: true success isn’t about keeping up with the Joneses. It’s about tuning out the noise and getting really clear on what “making it” means for you.
Sometimes that means putting on metaphorical blinders (like those cones vets put around dogs after surgery) so we stop looking at what everyone else is doing and start focusing inward. For me, it’s about aligning my actions with what I feel called to do, not what society tells me I should be doing.
Success Isn’t Measured in Dollars…Anymore
My husband (Rory Vaden) and I have spent a lot of time reevaluating what success means to us, and it doesn’t look like it used to. There was a time when we equated success with how much money we were making. And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for financial abundance because the more I make, the more I can give, and the more I can do! But today, success looks like freedom. Specifically, freedom of time.
Success now feels like having space on the calendar to focus on what we truly care about, not what the world says we should care about.
It’s about having the time to pursue the work we feel called to do without letting external pressures dictate our schedule. We’re no longer forcing ourselves into commitments just because we think we “should.” It’s about defining success on your own terms, and in this season, time has become the most valuable currency.
The Confidence to Say No
Another huge part of success for me today is having the confidence to say no. Success now means recognizing when something—even if it looks shiny and promising—just doesn’t align with my long-term goals or values. Whether it’s a business deal, a new opportunity, or even a personal relationship, having the courage to walk away when it doesn’t serve me is a huge win.
(The freedom to say no today could also save you from regrets and unnecessary burdens six months from now. Success, for me, means having the discernment to make those tough calls.)
Impact Over Income
Success also looks like the number of lives impacted, not the number of dollars in my bank account. And funny enough, I’ve found that when you focus on helping others, the financial rewards often follow naturally. When you’re doing meaningful work, people want to pay you because they see the value you’re bringing into their lives.
For so long I used to think success was about getting paid first and delivering later. Now it’s all about serving first and trusting that the financial piece will fall into place. This shift has brought so much more fulfillment into my life, and it’s something I encourage everyone to consider: How many people are you helping? How many lives are you changing? That’s where real success lies.
Tools vs. Success
It’s important to note that money, social media followers, and even business success are just tools. They are not the definition of success itself. Tools help you on the journey, but they don’t define your worth or your success. Whether you’re winning or failing at any given moment doesn’t change your value.
The truth is, no matter where you are in life, there will always be a balance of successes and failures. You’re not a success or a failure—you’re simply a person who experiences both.
Success Is Seasonal
Another thing I’ve learned is that success is not a fixed concept. It changes with the seasons of life. What success looked like for me before having kids is completely different from what it looks like today. And guess what? It will probably change again in five years. The important thing is to continually redefine what success means for you in each new season.
Right now, my primary goal is to raise two incredible human beings, Jasper and Liam, who know and love the Lord. If I can achieve that, then honestly, that’s success to me. But that wouldn’t have been my definition of success 10 years ago. And it will likely evolve again in the future.
Define Your Own Success
So what does success look like for you? If you don’t define it, the world will define it for you. And trust me, if you’re chasing someone else’s version of success, you’re never going to find fulfillment. Take a moment to step back, reflect, and ask yourself: What does success in this season look like for me?
It’s not about getting it “right” once and sticking with that forever. Success should evolve, just like you do. So as you move forward, remember to take the time to redefine success for yourself. Because if you don’t, you won’t ever fully achieve it.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by trying to define success, or you want to take the next step in aligning your personal and professional life, schedule a Free Brand Call with Brand Builders Group. Sometimes a little guidance is all you need to find clarity and start building a life that truly feels successful.
